Earlier today, my boss came by. She ran her hand across her mouth absentmindedly and then touched me on the shoulder.
I took off my sweater as soon as she left, exactly the wrong thing to do from an exposure standpoint, of course. Soon enough, I got cold, so I put the sweater back on, but I stretched it out so the shoulder was as far from my face as possible.
But then I went into "do you want to get better? mode," and I ran my hand over the shoulder of the sweater, and I rubbed my hands together and ran them through my hair. Of course then I immediate freaked out, but the damage is done. I'm feeling tense, but really good. I have pretty much NEVER been able to do that kind of exposure, even as my therapist keeps recommending it.
OCD and SSRI-Induced Apathy
6 days ago