Sunday, January 30, 2011

Well, That Was Disappointing

I finished Howie Mandel's memoir today. As far as I can tell, it was marketed to the publisher as a book about Howie's fight about OCD and to Howie as a book about his career. There's an intro tacked onto the front about his OCD, but he barely mentions it in the book. Odd. I remember right before the book came out, he was in a fascinating segment on one of the primetime news shows (I think it was 20/20, I may even have blogged about it). Among other things, he revealed that he has a guest cottage behind his house where he stays when anyone in his family is sick, so his OCD is quite severe. At that time, the segment was a tie in to the book as well. Despite apparently having a therapist and taking medication, he doesn't seem to do much to improve the situation.

Anyway, the book was a quick read, and fairly interesting, despite the fact that I've never seen any of his stand up, and have watched a total of about 10 minutes of Deal or No Deal.

But considering that the book jacket claims that in the book "he reveals the details of his struggle with these challenging disorders" [he also has ADHD] and "speaks frankly and honestly about the ways his condition has affected his personal life," the book was a disappointment. It's called Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me for pete's sake! Total disconnect happened somewhere.

Friday, January 28, 2011


Trip to the dentist survived! I'm still doing some ruminating about who touched what and when, but it'll pass. I'm currently in the middle of reading Howie Mandel's memoir. I'd prefer more talk about OCD and less talk about his career, but we can't always get what we want. Book review coming soon.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Going To The Dentist

I'm going tomorrow. I'm finding all kinds of avoidance floating through my head, including not wanting to drive there so I won't "contaminate" my car with dentist office cooties, or making sure I pay my copay with exact change so I won't get money back with dentist office cooties. So I guess the cold/flu issue isn't really the final frontier. Anyway, I'm planning to drive and get change back.
Will report back.

Monday, January 24, 2011

A Good Day

Today I sat in a meeting right next to someone who had a cold. I didn't wash my hands after. This is a really big deal for me. In fact today I washed my hands at work exactly once. I REALLY want to be able to keep this up. This cold/flu thing is sort of the last frontier, and it's been a heck of a challenge.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Things I Barely Notice

The other day, as I was taking out the garbage in the rain, I started thinking about all the things I can do now without really even thinking about it, that used to cause capital p Problems: taking out the garbage every week, bringing in the mail every day, touching paperwork from coworkers without feeling a need to immediately wash my hands. This morning I also remembered an exposure I did in Phoenix. We had pizza at a place where you bus your own tables. As I was dumping our trays, a non-disposable basket fell into the garbage. Now, at first I was just going to leave it there. It was a nearly full garbage can! But nope, I put my hand right in there and pulled it back out. I was not thrilled to do it, but I didn't wash my hands after, and actually never thought about it again until this morning, a month later. I guess I didn't die.

It feels great. Still plenty to be done, but I love the changes I can already see.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Odds and Ends

Have you heard about that stupid new study of ATMs and germs as much as I have? I'm composing a ranting blog post about it in my head, but it's still forming.

On Saturday, I did a pretty good job with exposures. I walked 10 minutes in the rain to the game (without spending hours ruminating about it), went to book club, shopped at about 5 stores without any handwashing. This included putting a trip to the thrift store right before grocery shopping. It gave me some pause, but I did it.

I also put a book on hold at the library. I will arrive at a "bad" time, and I almost cancelled the hold, sat and stared at the screen for about 3 minutes. Then clicked OK. It felt good.

Interestingly, just as my boss is almost done with chemo, I'm feeling like something is wiggy with my own health. Despite my fear of germs, I'm actually sort of an "anti-hypochondriac," generally just waiting for any symptoms I have to subside. They often do. So we'll see.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Sorry to anyone totally grossed out by this post. The joys of pets and all. Last summer my cats got some out of control fleas, I assume from the fact that the neighbor cats LOVE my backyard. And my side yard. And my front porch. (That photo is the neighbor's cat and mine looking at a third cat visiting in the alley behind my house.) Anyway, a couple of months of Front line, and we were all happily flea-free once more. Today, however, I found a flea on Max. UGH! Aren't they supposed to die when I have to live through 20 degree weather?

Anyway, I'm not actually that grossed out by fleas. Probably it's my 39 years of being around cats, or perhaps the fact that they don't seem interested in biting me. But lately they send me into OCD ruminations that go something like this: I'll carry a flea egg over to my sister's house, her cat will get fleas, she'll have to use pesticides and/or her kids will end up with tapeworm and have to take some icky medicine. So this week, when my brain goes there, I will say SO WHAT! For now, it's just one flea, and I don't feel like pesticiding the cats if I don't have to. It's a good place to practice not ruminating.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Too Much Information About My Bathroom Adventures

Today started with a scary social event. It went fine. I told myself before I went, though, that I was going to use the restroom at the restaurant. Even drank tea before I went and ordered a large drink to make sure I had to go. But then there was a line. I got too anxious standing in the line, and I didn't go.

BUT, then I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Their bathrooms are scarier on Sunday because it's really crowded at the store. But they were closed for cleaning. Curses! So I stopped to get some money at the ATM. By the time I finished the cleaning was done. But now I had ATM hands. Curses again! But I went and used that bathroom with my ATM hands anyway. Yay!

I'm at home, feeling a little contaminated, but I'm already feeling better.

Friday, January 7, 2011


Well, this could be a big long deep post. But it's not. Uncertainty is difficult. I need to work on that. Yep, uncertainty. Shudder.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Not Much to Report

I'm doing fine. As always, it's really time to take the exposures up a notch. I'm still not washing hands much, but I find I'm still really aware of all the people around me and whether they are healthy. Most of the people I've been in meetings with and in social situations with in the last few weeks have not been sick, at least they didn't appear to be. So I know that makes me less worried about the handwashing.

Although that's pretty silly, since I also touch lots of doorknobs and such, and who knows where they've been (haha, I crack myself up).

Anyway, got to out there with the masses and really mix it up.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Google Ads: Keeping the Exposures Constant

Anyone who's read much of this blog knows I've developed a fear of getting bedbugs. I've been doing a little better, but my family's not helping by doing things like buying new beds.

But anyway, google knows everything. So of course they know about those bedbug related searches I did a while back. Now about half the pages I visit on the internet, be they about basketball or anything else not remotely related to bedbugs, still have specialized ads just for me! Featuring, you guessed it, bedbugs!

I know that I could just use adblock. But that would be avoidance, and I can't do that! Yippee. Now if someone would explain why these ads keep telling me to purchase a Supercuts franchise.