Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This Has To Stop Today, Not Next Week!

Today as I thought, phew, I made it without getting sick till the receptionist headed off to New York for her brother's wedding, it occurred to me that I said that about her own wedding FIVE months ago.

I can't keep holding my breath forever, trying to avoid ever getting anyone sick before an important event or a vacation. And of course just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, I learned that the guy next to me is taking his family to Europe for spring break. Which ordinarily would mean, Oh, I just have to stay healthy through Friday. But it's finally sinking in that IT WILL NEVER END. There will ALWAYS be something on the horizon, a reason I can't get sick until next week, and then the week after and after and after.

So I kept on with my exposures today- went grocery shopping after hopping off the bus, picking up my produce without using hand sanitizer first.

Then I came home and took the trash out (which for some reason makes me super anxious these days), including some things that felt especially yucky to me. I'd like to take a shower now, but I'm not going to. Instead I'm cooking dinner.


  1. Good job I say - and yes, trash is very yucky.

  2. I sometimes wish I had a husband around to take out the trash, but then I realize he'd never do it "right," anyway.

  3. This is a really big insight! The "it will never end" stuff is important, like with my health anxiety, there will always be something that could go wrong in my body--I'm human and I'm getting older, and I can't stave that off forever. I can imagine my therapist saying, "Where is the law that says you can never get anyone sick, or you are a bad person?"