Saturday, August 8, 2009

I'm Not Responsible

Like most people with OCD, I have an extremely heightened sense of responsibility. I worry that other people will be sad or disappointed, or I worry that they'll be harmed by something I perceive to be my fault. It could be as simple as inviting someone out to a movie. What if they have an accident on the way? They wouldn't have been there if I hadn't invited them. This has been complicated by having an aunt undergoing chemotherapy, as she actually is more susceptible to illness.

Twice recently, in situations when I would normally spend a lot of time ruminating about leading someone into harm's way, I've been able to take and actually believe a more rational view: my friends and (most of) my family are adults, and they can make their own decisions, and are responsible for their own actions. It's quite liberating, saves a lot of time, and I hope I can do more of it.

2 comments:

  1. One of my compulsions is worrying & the sense of responsibility about everything. An example would be if someone leaves my house I go into full worry mode that they will get into an accident and die. It is a complete visual scenario.

    From the point of walking out my door to dying and so on. It is time consuming until they assure me they are fine.

    Treatment helps sporadially, with meds. But then I have breakthroughs that can be severe.

    I hope your Aunt heals quickly.
    Boo :)

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  2. Ooh, that doesn't sound fun at all. My concern tends to me more vague than that, at least. And maybe I'm a bad person, but once they're out of my sight, I tend to forget my worry. Oops.

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