Tuesday, August 4, 2009


I have a good friend with bipolar disorder, and we talk "mental health" a lot. Yesterday we had a conversation about happiness. As in, neither one of us feels a lot of it. So much of our energy goes into making it through the day, and it's exhausting. But of course, we can never really gauge how much happiness other people experience as a comparison. I know in my pre-OCD days, in high school, I had a lot more fun in my life. But again, I had almost no responsibilities in high school, and a lot more time for fun.

In any case, while I have some small moments of pleasure in the course of any given day, mostly I feel like I'm just surviving. Sometimes it makes me think this is a sign that I should be reconsidering medication, but I'm not quite ready to go there. But I feel like a good measure of how well ERP is working in the long run, is whether it can shift me from surviving to living a more fulfilling life.


  1. It was when I got to the point that I was just surviving (and not really wanting to, at that) that I considered medication. I know it's not for everyone, but it sure has made the difference for me. Life kinda-no, really- sucks when you're just surviving. I think that if the difference between living and surviving is in the meds, it's a pretty good opportunity cost.

  2. This post sums my life up. Each day is a race to the next. Enjoying things is near impossible when there are all these mental road blocks. I hate having to take drugs but like Shana said, if that's the only option then there is no other option.

  3. Thanks both of you for your thoughts on this.