Once upon a time, when I had a "vacation" I would go on a trip. My environmental views, combined with my OCD, plus the fact that I love to sit at home and read, has led me to a life where a vacation usually involves staying at home.
That's fine when I have a plan and a big project, like this summer when I painted my house while on "vacation." But if I'm not careful, I accomplish nothing and don't even bother to relax. For three years I worked at a school. While we didn't have summer off, we did get 2 weeks each for spring break and winter break. It was fabulous, except for the winter break I spent obsessed with the thought that I might be pregnant. I was not, but I did spend two weeks straight fretting and looking up symptoms on the internet.
I've been off work since Wednesday. I've spent far too much of my time contemplating my neighbor's trash can.
About a year ago I acquired some meditation tapes. I've only used them a couple of times. It's time to really get on that. I need to learn to live in the moment and focus. I want a real vacation!
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You are stronger than you think!
7 months ago
I sooooo know the pregnant obsession!! When I was younger it was a regular one for me with my highschool sweetheart - I obsessed about being pregnant even if we didn't have sex for a month!!! As for holidays - I used to "gift" myself with a trip somewhere every year. Due to finances that hasn't happened. But - I haven't really taken a lot of time off either. I've always wanted to take a week off and just stay home but like you - I wonder what my OCD would be like.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your vacation!
ReplyDeleteThe next time you find yourself contemplating or staring at the garbage cans, you could make up a terribly funny exaggerated story about it that would make you laugh every time you see the garbage can. It might take the sting out of it.
Garbage cans are one of my weird pre-occupations too. Making sure i don't accidently bump into them. I even have found myself excitedly watching the garbage truck come down the street to take away my garbage. For some dumb reason i like to watch that happen nowadays. Never USED to be a big attraction in my life. That's the oddness of ocd. Hope we all find better hobbies soon! :)