I'm marching through exposures (sometimes literally, when I've been walking in places that formerly felt contaminated to me), and it feels great. Mostly. Mixed in is so much anxiety! As expected, of course. If there weren't any anxiety involved, it wouldn't be so difficult, and I would have done this years ago.
My latest "underlying fear" relates to my aunt. After 8 weeks of needing to be driven by members of my family to up to 5 appointments a week, she's off oxygen and able to drive again. As I sat on the bus next to a coughing sneezing man today, I imagined myself getting a cold, giving it to my aunt, and starting her oxygen/needing rides cycle all over again. Ugh. I remind myself that I and my family will be happier in the long run if I don't have OCD, even if it's inconvenient in the short term. I'm still really anxious, though.
OCD and Transitions
2 days ago