So, it appears that I will consider my yard and driveway contaminated for a while now. And since I can't very well avoid going outside, there's gonna be some stress. My aunt's situation requires me to visit her home a couple of times a week. Which of course makes me sure that I'll be transferring the contamination to her.
I'll be frank and say it's a bit late to be all that worried about getting my aunt sick, but still, I hardly want to make a bad situation worse. And of course I worry about the rest of my family, too.
Regardless, there's nothing I can do to avoid any of it, without becoming a hermit. That's simply not an option, so I'll just have to keep on keepin' on.
I'm feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety, however, so I suspect the blog may turn even more stream of consciousness than usual for a while. Sorry for the impending blather.
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You are stronger than you think!
7 months ago
That sounds rough. You are courageous to continue to do what you value--visiting your aunt--rather than believing ocd's false promises that you can prevent getting your aunt sick by ritualizing. You've done so many incredible exposures--keep going!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible pain. People do some icky stuff. Driving and visiting can be tough enough without having to worry about just getting to the car. But of course you are right; nothing to do except do it. And then be sure to reward yourself.
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