OCD is funny. People with OCD are funny. On OCD forums recently, a few different people have written, "I'd do ANYTHING to get over my OCD." But they won't really. They're usually asking for a quick fix when they write this. I sometimes feel the same thing. I'd do ANYTHING not to have OCD rule my life. Except, touch that pole on the bus? Well, no, maybe not that. The public restroom? Well, no, maybe not that either.Fact is, with contamination OCD, if you're willing to do the exposures, you're getting past the OCD. But it's really tough to do.
I'm doing it, though. Most of my underlying concern lately has been about losing my job. But then I asked myself if I'd rather keep my job and be miserable all the time, or lose my job and (ultimately) live a happy life. The job didn't seem as important then. And heck, if I'm willing to lose my job, what's the worry?
So, I'm pushing, pushing, pushing. I touched the door handle on the bus yesterday. I didn't take my shower at the end of the day. I'm heading out to an open house this afternoon, despite the fact that it's just started to rain. I think I'll try some Christmas shopping as well. I find if I take the time to say, "do you WANT to get better," I can often make the right choice.
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Christmas shopping crowds - the thought makes me shudder! I do most of my shopping on line, but like you, I try to make myself go out at least once and see it as therapy. If I don't *have* to buy something, the pressure is off and I can try to see it as a holiday excursion. Otherwise just standing in one of those check out counter lines makes me all sweaty. :) Good luck!
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Shopping didn't cause me much trouble until recently. I think it was all the H1N1 furor, but it may just have been a nature OCD cycle. I used to literally go to the store down the street 4-5 days a week, buying just a few things at a time. Once a checker actually said, "See you tomorrow." Now I have to really ramp up to go more than once a week.
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