OCD is funny. People with OCD are funny. On OCD forums recently, a few different people have written, "I'd do ANYTHING to get over my OCD." But they won't really. They're usually asking for a quick fix when they write this. I sometimes feel the same thing. I'd do ANYTHING not to have OCD rule my life. Except, touch that pole on the bus? Well, no, maybe not that. The public restroom? Well, no, maybe not that either.
Fact is, with contamination OCD, if you're willing to do the exposures, you're getting past the OCD. But it's really tough to do.
I'm doing it, though. Most of my underlying concern lately has been about losing my job. But then I asked myself if I'd rather keep my job and be miserable all the time, or lose my job and (ultimately) live a happy life. The job didn't seem as important then. And heck, if I'm willing to lose my job, what's the worry?
So, I'm pushing, pushing, pushing. I touched the door handle on the bus yesterday. I didn't take my shower at the end of the day. I'm heading out to an open house this afternoon, despite the fact that it's just started to rain. I think I'll try some Christmas shopping as well. I find if I take the time to say, "do you WANT to get better," I can often make the right choice.
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