Sunday, December 6, 2009

Considering Medication, Part 2

Despite my reasonable success in exposures, something doesn't feel right. I still carry around a sense of doom a lot of the time. And I have an underlying level of mild (moderate?) depression that I can't quite shake.

So I am once again considering medication, possibly at a dose that deals with the depression, if not fully the anxiety. I'm pretty sure a lot of my past reaction to medication (which I took twice for about 2 months each time) was placebo, as I react within days, at a very very low dose, but I guess that's cool, too.

For now, I'm hoping the "threat" of medication will motivate me to more full exposures, but if not, I might be ready to go there. More on this as it arises.


  1. I hear ya about taking meds. Because I always manage to convince myself that I'm having the side effects. But, when it finally got to the point where I wasn't functioning at all, I realized I HAD to take meds. The only way I survived being able to take them was by having a good psych on board. I told him I didn't want to know what the side effects were...unless there were ones that would kill me. If they wouldn't kill me, I didn't wanna know, and I'd call him if I felt weird in any way. He kinda thought I was weird for going about it that way, but he agreed, and he keeps tabs on me at all my appointments. That way they worry is on his shoulders, not mine. I know, I know, I'm lame for not wanting that pressure, but it has totally helped! To this day (about a year after starting the meds), I haven't read the information that goes with them. Cause if I did, I guarantee i'd start having those symptoms.
    Good luck trying to decide what to do. I'm rooting for ya.

  2. I'm a read-the-side-effects junkie, and I definitely had a few (when I took meds in the past), but they were of the pros-outweigh-the-cons type for sure. I can see not wanting to know.