Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Out of My Stupor

One of my coworkers is getting married very soon. I am terrified of getting the swine flu, giving it to her, and ruining her wedding. Yes, that is a very specific fear. I had convinced myself that once she was out of the office (Friday), this would finally be the time that I would lose some of my worry about getting sick, and really work on exposures. Unlike every OTHER similar time, of course, where that "final" deadline came and another one took its place. It seems there's always someone about to go on vacation, or starting chemo, or graduating from high school, just waiting for me to ruin their special day with an illness.

In the meantime, I was cocooning myself up at home, so that I would "guarantee" I would stay healthy (ignoring the cesspool of germs that is my office, of course).

Today I learned that I will probably see my engaged coworker next week, too, and my anticipation of a mellow weekend was shot.

At which point the ridiculousness of never leaving my house except for work became clear. So it's back to the routine: grocery shopping, picking up books at the library, riding the bus (gulp!) I'm feeling anxious but surprisingly okay about it. Of course, that may be due to the fact that I finally turned the furnace on today after the house got down to 55. Everything looks a little better when you're warm.

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