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My Apologies!
4 years ago
Thursday, October 8, 2009
So What?
That is what my therapist tells me I should be saying to myself. As in, "Oh, no. I'm afraid I'm going to get sick!" "So what?" Now if I could just internalize that, it would be awesome. I have about 10 minute blocks of time where it works great, and I feel pretty mellow about it all. Then, like today, I go to a meeting and the guy next to me has a hacking cough, and I'm right back to "Oh, no. I'm afraid I'm going to get sick!" Sigh. My blog might not be so accurately named.
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"So what" isn't always the best response. For me, saying "so what" is just a reminder that I'm being irrational, and then I beat up on myself all day for being irrational, recognising it as irrational, and being unable to stop the urges anyway!I have given up on therapy for this reason, it only fills me with self hatred and then depression!!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's sad! I find therapy to be a really positive experience; it would so suck to go away from it feeling depressed.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason knowing I'm totally irrational doesn't bum me out. It doesn't seem to help me either, but. . .
Oh Boy, do I know this one well. I ruminate so much about sickness that I just can't enjoy life. Thinking "so what?" has never helped me.
ReplyDeleteI think your blog is very accurately named -- every time you post, you're taking a step toward getting better. "Better" is a process, and in a battle where learning to let go of the need to be able to control everything is paramount, it strikes me that you're consistently demonstrating the one thing you can and should be controlling: effort.
ReplyDelete"So what?" was always my dad's mantra when trying to help me with my OCD. Of course, when I have severe issues and need to call him for help, I hear that phrase a few more times :)
ReplyDeletewww.itsmewithocd.blogspot.com