This week I've done a couple of exposures where I feel like my actions could harm others, not just me. Those are always harder.
Today I brought some extra rhubarb from my garden in to work. I used to do this sort of thing all the time, but it's been years. As soon as I set it down on the counter in the kitchen at work, my anxiety ramped up. What if it has germs on it, and whoever takes it gets sick? Etc., etc.
My anxiety is still high, and I'm resisting going back and dumping it into the compost bin we have right next to that counter. But I know this is just the OCD talking to me, and if I do it, the OCD gets stronger, and I get scared-er (I think that's not a word!)
Ooh, this is hard.
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You are stronger than you think!
7 months ago
You can do it, you can do it. :) Good for you, sharing your rhubarb. I'm sure someone will really enjoy it. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I get this!! It reminds me of my fear that I would injure someone at a salad bar. What if I got some egg into one of the other foods and someone with egg allergy got anaphylaxis and died? I had to remember that I am not responsible for that. People with egg allergy probably should not eat at salad bars where egg is served. I can't worry about their choices.
ReplyDeleteGreat job sharing food - not easy. I tell myself, if the exposure is hard, it's working.