Monday, July 5, 2010

Did I Really Just Do That?

I've been doing awesome at basic contamination exposures at home and work in the last couple of months.

Now I'm moving on to the scariest piece for me: exposing myself to people who have a cold or stomach flu. I've been struggling with this one for several years now. It makes it difficult to have a social life, because people with colds are everywhere!

Today I went to the grocery store. In the middle of checking me out, my clerk got a tissue and blew her nose. I did freak at first, and I threw my receipt away before leaving the store. But then when I got home, my keys weren't in the pocket I thought, so I had to touch four different pockets with my "contaminated" hand before I found them.

Then I figured to heck with it. I touched my hair and my face, my pillow, computer keyboard, refrigerator handle, and sock and underwear drawer with those contaminated hands. I have NEVER been able to do this before, and my hands were shaking during some of it.

I feel great, kinda, but my anxiety, while lower, is still heightened. I can't undo it now, though, so I'll just have to wait it out.


  1. That's awesome! I love that you mention contaminating your refrigerator handle...that's always one of the standard items on my list of things that I need to contaminate when doing a new exposure! And as for not being able to undo it, well, for me, anyway, that's really the best situation to have. Half the battle is already can't be drawn into performing just have to get through the other half - waiting out the anxiety. You can do it!

  2. Wow. That is AWESOME!!!! The grocery store is probably the scariest place for me (different reasons, but contamination just the same), so everything you did is absolutely inspiring :)

  3. Way to go! Hopefully the fear passes soon and you can pat yourself on the back. :)