Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Going For It, But Not Thrilled :)

So, as I've mentioned before, I'm weirdly terrified of getting colds. In the past it was because I was afraid to get my aunt sick. She has since died, so now of course, I'm afraid for a changing group of reasons. This week, it's because I'm going on vacation soon.

The downward arrow looks something like this:
I'll get sick for vacation
I'll get the boyfriend sick for vacation.
He'll be mad because I got him sick.
We'll fight and break up.

Alternate scenario:
Blowing his nose on vacation somehow exposes him to some other dreadful disease, and he dies. Bummer.

Tomorrow I'm going to a social event where I know already that one attendee has a bad cold. I'm going anyway. And I haven't been washing my hands like a madwoman this week either.

This is really difficult!!!!! But I'm doing it. OCD currently consumes my every waking hour, and I want my life back. Even if it's without my dead boyfriend. :(


  1. It's funny how other people's cause and effects in OCD land make me laugh - because I can see they are totally irrational. But at the same time, it makes me want to give you a hug because I understand the thinking and the fear that goes along with said cause and effect scenarios, and how real it seems, because I think in the same way about other things - which to you may seem silly and laughable.
    Sigh. Good luck with your exposures!

  2. Yes, on more than one occasion, I have laughed out loud at fears I've read on some of my boards. And yes, I know a fear of getting a cold is probably high on the laughable scale. :) And yet when faced with sniffling people, I freeze! Working on it, though.