Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Cluttered House, Cluttered Mind

For years, I've struggled with clutter. Watching the A&E tv show Hoarders has made me think even more than usual about my clutter. I'm confident that I'm not a hoarder, as I don't have much emotional attachment to my stuff, and I can easily throw things out, once I get going. But I'm not at all good at cleaning, and I seem to have no natural ability to organize things.

This wouldn't matter all that much, except that I find that discomfort over my clutter, a feeling that I "should" be cleaning at all times, and I am cleaning a lot to try to get caught up. And when I'm doing that, I don't have the mental energy or time to work on my OCD "stuff."

In 2004, I sold my house and moved. When the house was on the market, I had to keep it spotless. During that time, I felt so light, but I wasn't able to maintain it in my new house.

I have been working diligently over the last few weeks to deal in a hopefully permanent way with my clutter. My main floor is good, my upstairs is getting there. I hope to finish up in the next month-ish, opening up time and energy for exposures and cognitive therapy.

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