In the end, I found a time to meet my friend. It did involve her kids, but it also involved ice cream. I had a much better time than I'd expected and not just because of the ice cream. There was the moment where instead of reassuring her that she looks great, I told her she'd earned the right to feel "dumpy." She just had a baby! But oops, you're probably not supposed to agree when someone says they feel dumpy. I am choosing not to ruminate on that. In fact, I hadn't thought of it all day until writing this post.
Anyway, it all made me realize the extent to which my feelings about the visit were coming from an OCD place.
So despite feeling confident that sometimes it's a-okay not to do something because I just plain don't want to, I also need to push myself to do some of the things I think I truly don't like, because I might just be scared.
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
Ann, totally awesome! It is amazing how you feel after pushing yourself through an ERP, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteGood for you for not ruminating about your comment. Ugh. I do that all the time!
I'm glad you enjoyed your visit and that it became clear that OCD was holding you back from it. It can be so hard to differentiate OCD and not-OCD for me.
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