Today it was in the high 90s, with tomorrow and Friday expected to be over 100. For some reason my OCD cranks up a bit when it's hot. It's uncomfortable to be hot, of course, but I'm not sure what the OCD connection is.
I suspect that it's somehow related to control. OCD makes me want to be in control in ways that are simply not possible, and I really cannot control the weather.
This week a friend of mine is in town with her family. This is a friendship that I felt had run its course about 5 years ago, and to be honest, it's run its course even more since then. She has a two year old and a newborn, and so logically it's all about them right now. That's fine and how it should be. But I have long ago accepted that I just really don't enjoy kids very much. As a result, I'm not all that understanding of the changes that children bring to friendships. It limits the friendships in my life. And I'm okay with that.
Anyway, this friend has really continued to work hard to keep our friendship alive. And I feel so guilty about it. I'm having OCD issues around seeing her this week, complicated by the fact that it's a friendship I'd hoped would die a natural death. On the other hand, I have this feeling that I should always fight OCD, but how does that work when it's something I don't want to do anyway?
OCD and SSRI-Induced Apathy
6 days ago