Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Hardest Exposure Ever-Or Hardest Response Prevention Anyway

Today I went to my knitting group. I didn't really want to, but I decided it was important, and I also decided before I went that I wouldn't shower right after, no matter what I encountered there.

So, of course, I sit next to "loud, large, sick" lady. Everything she did was big, and seemed to include touching me with something. She had a cold and coughed about 50 times (not an exaggeration) and covered her mouth during about 5 of those coughs, most directed right at me. She sneezed without covering her mouth either. She spit when she talked and spit when she coughed, and I saw it land on my leg.

And I know I have OCD and all, but who does that?!

So, yeah, it was super fun. I stayed for an hour and a half, though, and only inched away from her, umm, a couple of times. Which of course brought me too close the person on the other side of me, who probably thinks I'm weird now, but oh, well.

Now it's an hour later, and I haven't showered. I don't feel great about it, but my anxiety is going down, so that's good.


  1. That's great progress Ann, and this is coming from someone that has suffered from OCD for about 34 years, and only started to get help a few years ago. By the way, I have the checking type.

    Keep up the good work.

  2. Good for you! I totally empathize with how tough this would be. I think people without OCD would be grossed out, but they wouldn't want to go home and shower. They wouldn't let it consume their evening. And I wonder, how can they avoid it?:-)

    One thing I really noticed with you is that you are so good at commending yourself for small victories. One thing that helped me the most is the phrase that I am "in recovery." In other words, I will never completely be perfect in my OCD recovery, but I am growing in the direction of health. Because it's pretty easy for us OCD folk to make recovery the new slavemaster.

  3. I hear ya on this. I am a strugler with OCD too. I am a nurse so that just adds to my germaphobia which I didnt have before I became a nurse. I just tossed an entire store bought dinner cause the chocolate sticks looked like they had been spit on or something. didnt look right. when in fact they probably just melted in a few spots. who knows, but i did not eat them!!! I totally understand your struggles!! I want to beat OCD too!

  4. Okay, my ocd has nothing to do with sick people and I find that lady's behavior completely disgusting. Not dangerous, but gross. Kudos to you, you did awesome!!!!