So I have one friend who also has serious mental health stuff. She and I can talk about ANYTHING. Two weeks ago at work I discovered that I had made a mistake. A full on, need to tell my boss so it can get fixed and it might take a while, mistake. I was freaked OUT! Told Rachel I could imagine ending up fired, etc.
Then on Friday we talked again, and I told her that I thought it had worked out, in fact, that in the end, the chance to fix the outcome might actually make the situation a net plus.
You know what she said to me (with a touch of annoyance in her voice): "once again you're all worried and you end up with a shiny apple in your hand." Huh. I was a bit taken aback. But she's right. I worry and worry, and it's stupid. It wastes time, time that could be spent making my life better, or even making the world better. And then nothing happens. Over and over and over again.
Years ago my therapist told me I could spend time worrying about burning my house down after I'd burned down two. I think I could worry after one, but his point was also well taken.
It's time to redirect my brain onto better things. If something ends up broken I will fix it.
OCD and SSRI-Induced Apathy
1 week ago