Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Still Here!

It's been a busy couple of months at work, and it's finally catching up to me. It's hard to get motivated to spend more time on the computer in the evenings!

This week I spent so little time thinking about overflowing garbage cans that I thought I had actually kicked that fear. Then yesterday night at 10 when my neighbor still hadn't put out the garbage, I sat in my living room and cried. So, maybe not. The good news is that I only cried for about a minute, and then I was able to once again view it as an awesome exposure experience. And then about 5 minutes later, they put the garbage out.

I'm still very happy that over the course of the last two weeks, I devoted basically no time at all to worrying about this issue, one that had consumed me at times over the last few months.

I feel like I'm making really good progress this winter, but I'm also feeling a little unfocused. I've heard people say in the past that as they give up their compulsions, they feel unrooted without them. I've always thought, what are you talking about, it would be heaven! But I think I'm getting it now. There are worse problems to have, though, and I'm sure I'll get through it.

Hope to write more this weekend.


  1. Glad you're still here! :-)

    I think compulsions take so much time and so much of our attention, that when we don't do them, it's hard sometimes to think, well, what do I do now?

    I've found that when I "walk away" from a compulsion and it's time to refocus on something else, I wonder what to refocus on! I've read that keeping a journal about what you do instead of compulsions can help. I would think even a little list of possible things to do would be good to have. I think I'm going to make one.

  2. Geez you are so inspiring to me. PLEASE keep writing!!! I'm in a "rough" spot these days, but when I read how quickly you can get to a healthy attitude about facing some of your fears I get motivated. I think part of what I'm dealing with right now is that same thing - removal of compulsions. Though I still compulse (way too much for my liking!), I have made so many healthy changes in my life - which is uncovering some of the CRAP.