I'm so good at the academic principles of OCD treatment. I've mentioned before how many books on OCD I have and how many more I've read.
I'm not as good at actually following through on hard exposures. It's taken me all these years to finally really hear the message that part of getting better is learning that the feeling of anxiety is uncomfortable, but that's okay, you can survive it. And when you do, you learn that anxiety isn't as scary as you thought. My brain hasn't learned that part yet. But I'm working on it.
Over many years of therapy, with professionals and on my own, I've only been able to go so far, and then the exposures have seemed too scary, the anxiety too much. For what I think is the first time, I'm trying to push through on harder exposures. I'm not enjoying it one bit, and I haven't really been doing it long enough to say how well it's working, in the big picture. But I'm trying my hardest.
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You are stronger than you think!
7 months ago
I do a really good job of the easier exposures too, sometimes even the moderate ones. But you are absolutely right--the ones high up on the hierarchy are so difficult. But I've found that when I can face up to those ones, that is where I find my best progress. Good luck!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Ann!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you and would like to point out that it's awesome that you've chosen to give the top exposures a hit. I know that it sucks so much...I don't have quite the right word to describe it, but somewhere between doom/dread/misery/extremely difficult. Congrats for what you are doing...keep us posted!!