I've decided to leave my job in October or November. I haven't told anyone there yet, but I've started mapping out what I'd like to get done before I leave.
But I'm also realizing I'd like to get some non-work things "done" as well. My OCD is fine-ish (which, haha, my computer just corrected to fiendish!), but not fabulous. I don't have delusions that quitting my job will make it fabulous. Indeed, I still need to do that work to get there. But I'd like to feel better equipped to carry on the hard work when I have either time to do it, or so much free time that OCD might choose to fill in the blanks.
Today was one of those days where I was ruminating on one thing until a new one came along. Then, immediately the old worry was nothing and the new worry was HUGE, LIKELY, IMPORTANT. One good thing about this is that when it happens, I know enough to identify it as OCD. And sometimes that even helps with the worries: if they can go away so quickly when something shinier comes along, they're probably not that important. Either way, though, there's still worry. I had a chance to do major avoidance on the new worry, and I didn't. I jumped right in. Whoo. I feel a little sick.
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
I know the old worry, new worry thing, too.
ReplyDeleteI have days that like too, Ann. I will worry on one thing and get angry or otherwise upset, then switch gears and ruminate on something else completely different and get upset over THAT. Frustrating. Sometimes I recognize what I'm doing, but that doesn't always mean I can stop thinking, thinking, thinking.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on coming to a decision about the job. I hope that opens up whole new adventures for you! ;-)
Oh it's crazy that a prior worry can seem like nothing when compared to a new one, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteGreetings Ann,
ReplyDeletePlease check out my blog athomewithocd.blogspot.com. I write about having ocd and raising a teen with ocd. Glad I found you. Be well, Mary (aka Ninja Mom)
I get the same way, I have a worry, then something else pops up and the old worry is gone, then something else takes the new worry's place and I'm back to the old, first worry... Sick cycle. It's good to identify it as OCD, though. I really think that is key. Sometimes when we have worry and OCD anxiety it seems like the first time it happened, but being advanced enough to tag it as OCD is so important.
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