I've never had BIG checking problems, but it has been an issue for as long as I've had OCD. Back at the beginning, I had trouble leaving work each day, because I had to check that I'd turned off my desk light. Otherwise it might cause a fire and then the sprinklers would go off and then there'd be mold. Mold was my big thing.
That's passed, but I still have mild checking stuff. Especially before I leave the house on vacation. But I've been working on it.
Many times at work, I'll still circle back to my cubicle and check (now it's my adding machine) but I don't always do it. I also have trouble if I'm the last to leave from my department, which I often am due to my schedule.
Last Friday I looked in the fridge and used the sink in the kitchen. Then I walked back down the hall. And I stopped. Did I turn off the water? Did I close the fridge? When I closed the cabinet, did something get thrown out of whack? Don't worry, I thought, the security guy will be through. Whew, okay. But what if he isn't? What if there's a flood in there. And of course as I'm doing this, I'm walking back and forth- toward the kitchen, away from the kitchen, repeat. Hopefully no one was around to see that, haha!
In the end, I knew it was checking, and I knew it was bad for me, and I walked away and I went home. Hooray!
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
I've done that sort of back and forth debate with myself. I think I've even walked back and forth while I did it. Checking is one of my more obvious obsessions - but I do it in my head, too (i.e., remembering turning off the water).
ReplyDeleteGood for you going home without checking!
You did good! Walking away and going home instead of checking is a big deal! Checking is one of my hardest OCD issues to deal with.
ReplyDeleteWalking away can be really hard for me..checking is a big issue for me and one of the hardest for me to overcome. You did good!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Ann! I actually went through something similar on Sunday when I left the church office in the afternoon. I had put something in the fridge and rushed out the front door when I worried that I had not properly shut the fridge door. I REALLY wanted to go back and check but my hubbie wouldn't let me. I wish I could say that I had made the decision to not go back (like you did).
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