Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I Sure Do This a Lot

Despite some efforts at mindfulness, I'm spending a lot of time worried about my work issue. It should be resolved, or at least partly resolved by the 25th or 26th. Which seems VERY far away. But it's made me think back to other times that I've done this exact thing: worry about something incessantly for up to a month. And every time, when it's done I think, that was SUCH A HUGE WASTE OF MY VALUABLE TIME.

A few examples:
the time my neighbor's garbage was overflowing for 3 weeks.
the LAST time I had to wait a month to resolve a work problem.
the time I was sure the arborist would electrocute himself when he took down my tree.
the time I was sure the roofers would die while re-roofing my house.
the time I was sure the radon remediation would bring radiation and ruin to my life.

I see a trend: work and house, work and house.

So I guess I need to quit my job and sell my house. Problems solved!!!

Just kidding.

What's the block I have on trying techniques that will help: mindfulness, meditation, truly accepting the fears, etc etc.? I have the tools, I even know they work, because I have done so many successful ERP sessions.

I have read that having poor insight into your OCD makes treatment less successful. And I know that I have poor insight with respect to these "non-contamination" type fears. I am much more likely in these cases to actually believe that the bad outcome is not just likely, but inevitable.

But just because poor insight makes treatment harder, it doesn't make it impossible, and I really need to get my rear in gear on these, because life is pretty miserable this way. And man, does time pass slowly!!!!


  1. Ann, I would say that you have good insight into your OCD. But I understand your differentiating between how quickly you recognize "contamination" OCD and "non-contamination" OCD. I think I'm the same way. The more we practice and the more discoveries we make about ourselves, the better we'll get at it though.

    I use mindfulness, but not always successfully. It's hard, and it doesn't come naturally to me. Meditation doesn't either. I have to really focus on practicing.

    I hope the work issue gets resolved sooner rather than later. Hang in there. I think you're doing a great job!

  2. Ha ha ha - yes I worry about my house incessentaly. I would really like to just sell it too. But . . . I think my worries would crop up no matter where I am.

    I actually think you have pretty good insight into your OCD. You recognize that there is a problem and you also recognize that it is OCD. Of course, recognizing the issue is only part of the battle. I sure don't have to tell you that.

    Hang in there. I know this is tough stuff. Hugs.

  3. Mindfulness is considered to be of great importance in the path to enlightenment . It is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. Mindfulness meditation can also be traced back to the earlier Upanishads, part of Hindu scripture. Thank you very much.