Yesterday I gave a brief talk at my training. Two jobs ago I had to give talks in public often enough that it ceased being a big deal. That was 10 years ago, and it's a big deal again. But I'd practiced it, so I thought I'd be okay. It went fine-ish, but not well. Normally I'd have spent the whole afternoon stewing, but instead I got back to the office just in time to be given a last minute assignment. Then I went to 2 hours of meetings, during which the head of our organization criticized a number of things I'd prepared for the meeting.
I ended up working an 11 hour day. Then I ran for the bus, and while at the bus stop, a guy asked me for directions. I hate giving directions, because I'm always sure the person will wind up lost forever. And last night it was dark and rainy!
All of these are things I would typically go home and ruminate about. And sometimes when I suspect I'll have trouble sleeping due to rumination, I take a Benedryl, because I know it will knock me out. But yesterday I got home and I was so tired I was able to completely wipe all the worry right out of my head. No extra energy left for that. I went to bed and fell asleep immediately.
It's not an ideal system to be sure, but it worked great yesterday!
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
I, too, find that being so stinkin busy that I don't have time to sit at all leads to less worry and sleeping better. Glad you had a worry free night. And congrats on the presentation going fine-ish. :) Practice makes perfect, and I'm sure you'll soon be knocking them out of the park.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a tiring day, but I'm glad you were too tired to ruminate! That would have left you even more exhausted. You are really dealing well with what comes your way--you always inspire me!
ReplyDeleteUgh frustrating day for sure. But it sure seems like you handled it well. I'm not so sure that being too tired to deal with it is such a bad thing. Think about it - I bet there were times when you were so exhausted, but it didn't matter because your OCD kept you up worrying and stewing about it all night long anyway. So, to me the fact that you were able to zonk out is a good sign. You work so hard - be kind to yourself!
ReplyDeleteNo rumination sounds like a winning situation.. good for you! Sometimes I dread going to bed because no matter how tired I am, that is when my mind starts rev-ing up. A good nights sleep can do wonders for me.
ReplyDeleteAh, so there are benefits to exhausting 11 hour days! Glad you didn't have to deal with the rumination.
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