I am often amazed by how few people there are who really have their OCD under control. I don't actually believe that it's because those people went off to happily live their lives and are too busy to check in on OCD boards. I'm sure that's true for some people, especially for the lucky few that stumbled onto good treatment early on in their OCD, but I sincerely believe that most people get a little better, then get worse, repeat, repeat, repeat.
HOWEVER, there are a few people who post on the yahoo OCD Board who truly seem as close to cured as you can get. And they tell the same story: they decided they weren't going to do compulsions anymore. It took some time and it took some work, but it WORKS. And now, when obsessions crop up, they smack them down immediately, before OCD can take hold again.
It's a testament to how strong the hold of OCD is, that despite knowing this, that despite how crappy OCD makes our lives, that despite how straightforward treatment is (at least for contamination and checking types, like I have), how HARD it is to do what those people have done. I'm s-l-o-w-l-y getting there, but despite my successes, there are still exposures that seem soooo hard and scary.
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My Apologies!
4 years ago
Ann - I think you and I are on the same wavelength these days! I had a fantastic few weeks with my exposure homework, and then - FLOP - something - who knows what? - happened to make OCD SCREAM at me and it got my attention. Now I"m struggling. Definitely not back to square one - but it sure doens't feel good either. :o(
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to comment that there are people on the other side of the spectrum on the OCD board - who post and don't seem to do anything about their OCD and don't seem to want to do anything about it. That frustrates me! How could you live life like this? And then they complain. Anyway - I guess most of us fall somewhere in the middle....as you say - make progress, then fall backwards, and on and on it goes. You're inspiration to me though!!
I totally get this. Pure O Canuck, I have been on message boards in the past, (not recently though because I feel it is detramental to treatment), and every now and then I pop on them to see who is still around. Some of the same people over and over again, still in the same cycle, not getting themselves help. Breaks my heart and at the same time is so frustrating.
ReplyDeleteAnn, I know what you mean about reading testimonials on how some people just get it together and beat their compulsions to a free life of OCD. One of the most important things I have learned in my treatment is that it will never "go away" but will become manageable. It's all about the managing, and not fearing. Exposures for me are so hard, because it is the anticipation that gets me super anxious. But, usually when I am in the situation it is all good. If it's not, I have to grin and bear it, just let it be there... As hard as it is, I have to just let it be.
I'm trying not to label my days, but with all of the "bad" days, there are always an equal amount of "good days" and that is what I have to live for.
Ugh, this life will be a long road for all of us, but we've totally got it. I think that we're strong and sometimes we might fall, but we get up again. Sometimes we have shitty days, but there are always good ones. I think it's all about outlook.
That's why i'm glad i found the blogger community. You guys seem to be trying and succeeding, even tho it is slow progress ( often 2 steps forward, 1 step back). The forums i found all seemed so negative ( i understand the frustrations) but not very hopeful for their futures.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed in my travels thru ocd, that just as giving in to my compulsions means ocd puts more compulsions out there to jump thru,that when i DONT give in to compulsions, that ocd's voice quiets down.
so hang in there!!!!!
-karin