Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Does It Get Easier?

I can't say I know the answer to that question. I do know I'm making hard choices and avoiding avoiding. Due to an illness in the family, I've been faced with more germs in my life while at the same time trying to avoid bringing germs into this person's life (and yes, I'm fully aware that my struggle is not the important one here! But it is real nonetheless).

In any case, despite my fears about making a sick person even sicker, I'm still making the "right" choices most of the time, and not letting fear rule the day. I can feel some momentum building up this week, and I want to ride that out.

The plan to move is in full force, with a new lease starting in April. Lots of chances for exposure, and I have done some avoiding, but with the momentum I noted above, I think I'll be able to do less of it between now and when I move.

Lately I've thought occasionally about seeing a therapist again, but I can't quite justify the expense. If I felt like it was a necessity to my wellbeing, I'd do in a minute, but I don't think it is. In fact, I feel myself wanting a sounding board more than I want someone to push me to do exposures. I think I just need more friends. :)

I hope spring is starting for everyone out there (well, those that like spring anyway!) It's been beautiful here. Even today's rain was lovely.


  1. Hmmmm. From my own personal experience, I'm going to say, "yes and no." I know. Real helpful, huh? Since completing CBT/ERP - nothing has ever been quite as hard as before or during that time. I've certainly had times of terrible struggle since then though (like right now). But there is just knowledge that can't be un-known. And there is life experience that can't be un-lived. So I always take that forward with me. If I could really get past the "avoidance" in my life, once and for all, I think I would make tremendous progress. But I'll just try to take it one step at a time. For what it's worth - I think you are doing awesome. I TOTALLY get the whole worry about getting a sick person even sicker. That is a terrible obsession of mine at times. So bravo to you for not avoiding that incredibly anxiety producing situation.