I've been pretty active on beating contamination OCD for a while now. I've been simply TERRIBLE at fighting other types of OCD, as well as my general "it's all going to end badly" generalized anxiety.
Today, as often happens, giving into anxiety only made it worse. But I'm attacking that "worse" outcome the right way.
I needed to have a contractor out to give me a bid. He was going to come out next week. But I got nervous, so I actually left work early today and had him come out to the house this afternoon. But while he was here, he had to jump down from a height of about 5 feet, and then of course he commented on his bad knee. Ack! Argh. If only... he'd come next week instead, I'd thought to get out my step ladder, etc., etc. I'm imagining him needing surgery, sabotaging the job as a result, etc. etc.
SO, I wrote up a script. I'm reading it. I'm not letting myself (except for writing this) go to the what if place. Instead I'm facing the anxiety and I'll wait for it to go down.
It's not easy, my brain ruminates in a nearly automatic way. But seriously, enough is enough, it's time to double down, triple down, and do this right.
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
Thanks for writing this blog. Makes me feel a little less alone in my OCD bubble. Wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteI know brains ruminating "automatically" is a huge problem for a lot of people. It's hard to break free from that, but you sound committed to it. Good luck, I know you can do it!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to you for knocking down the contamination OCD especially this time of year! I am truly struggling with it the past few weeks and have given into to far more than I'd like to admit.
ReplyDeleteWhen the anxiety is general it feels so much harder to manage since you have no idea just what might set us off. Kudos to you for trying to grab a hold of it and deal. Best of luck!
You go Ann! You've got this!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I was able to beat it after suffering terribly for over a decade. I describe it in hilarious detail in my book but the short answer is I made a list for my wife to check ALL THE THINGS and no matter what I did not give in and look myself. Once the physical checking stopped the mental anxiety followed.
ReplyDeleteHave u read : the mindfulness workbook for OCD it migt be of help i guess.
ReplyDeleteGood for you dealing with the anxiety the appropriate way. I know well that ruminating really only increases anxiety and makes the situation worse. I'm sure everything will turn out fine and if his knee is damaged there are still much worse things.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best.