November Stinks

Whether it's the decreasing light, the increasing rain, or just something internal to me, I always have trouble with November. I get depressed, my anxiety goes through the roof, and my ability to see the irrationality of my fears goes way down.

I'm a mess, but I'm taking action. Yesterday I bought The OCD Workbook and Freedom From Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and I'm probably going back on medication.

So right now I'm an odd mix of motivated and excited, and down in the dumps. Interesting.

My parents are leaving on a trip on Tuesday. Not unexpectedly, I've been on a "can't get them sick for their trip" kick. One of my convoluted reasons for not wanting them to get sick was that I felt it increased their chances of staying in a hotel and getting bedbugs (as in, they'll be so sick and yucky that my aunt and uncle will kick them out and send them to a hotel) In yet another "hahaha, you can't control the world" moment, it turns out my mom made their plane reservation for the wrong city (oops!), and they'll be spending at least two nights in a hotel anyway.

This should make me aware of the futility of my efforts, but nope, I've been ruminating on staying healthy most of today.