My list of Scary Things Goes Something Like This:
Bedbugs
Stomach Flu, Cold Sores
Colds and Flu and Garbage Germs
All the Other Creepy Germs
Now, this list can be rearranged somewhat. Whatever germ is closest to me at any given time tends to temporarily zoom to the top of the list until it's gone or my anxiety peaks and ebbs.
On my way home from work yesterday, I was contemplating all of this and realizing that to live the life I'm looking for, I'm going to have to accept that some, possibly all, of these things could come into my life. The reason bedbugs are so high is that it can take time and other exposures to get rid of them, and it seems so overwhelming. But the fact is, if I got them, I'd have no choice but to deal, and I would.
Knowing this doesn't actually make the process seem any easier, but it does make me realize there's no point in ruminating and avoiding, because when I do, I'm also avoiding a lot of good things that life can bring.
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
You just made me smile Ann, because a little while ago, I realized what you mentioned. My OCD is the checking and counting type, and I have realized that it keeps me from enjoying the good things in life, because most of the time I'm worried if I checked the stove to make sure it was off, or if I locked the door etc. When you look at it from that point of view, it makes you realize, what you have been missing.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for reminding us that all cannot be avoided. And your attitude of if it happens, I'll deal with it, is right on.
ReplyDeleteWell that's a great attitude! One I have definitely not accepted yet either, but one that I've been thinking about lately too. I think it's at the heart of OCD recovery. "Deal with it when you get there. You might not like it - but you'll get through it". I don't know....I guess it just comes down to living in the moment and trying not to do EVERY SAFETY BEHAVIOUR possible to prevent your fears from coming true.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a positive post and speaks to the heart of OCD......learning to live with the uncertainty.
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