My Biggest Goal

My dream is to live life mostly like a "normal" person. i suppose I should instead say a person without OCD, in terms of the places I go and the decisions I make.

I've done a lot of exposures in the last year, but I've also spent a lot of time ruminating, and I also still make a lot of choices based on how I feel from an OCD perspective.

So I'm going to work hard on this. This weekend my mom invited me for pizza on Mother's Day (the same day she's also babysitting for my sister's kids all day- something might be wrong with this picture, but I am at least bringing her cupcakes. Anyway...)

As soon as I said yes, I got scared that my nieces would be sick. I almost went so far as canceling.

But I didn't. I like pizza. And I was recently saddened when my sister (very kindly) told me that she's changed her children's guardian in case of her death from me to her mother in law, because they know her so much better than they know me. And that's partly because I'm lazy, but it's in large part because her kids cause me OCD problems.

Lots of hard work ahead.