Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It's Hard To Be A Normal Person

Whenever I head out to knit night, I tell myself that no matter what I encounter there, I will not take a shower when I get home. Some nights that's harder than other nights. Tonight was a "hard night." While chatting with the woman next to me, we got talking about her work. She's a dental hygienist. I was pleased that hearing that didn't set me off. But THEN, she mentioned that her last patient today had cold sores. She sent him home, but then she spent the next 5 minutes chatting about cold sores. This is actually what first triggered my OCD back in 1997, a fear of what I thought was my boyfriend's cold sore (turned out he didn't actually have one after all). Fond memories, there! Anyway, just thinking about them makes me want to take a shower. Cool, no? I'm not taking the shower, but I'm not feeling great. I'm learning that OCD fears make me want to eat junk food. If I get over my OCD, I'll probably lose 20 pounds!
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5 comments:

  1. AbigailMay 13, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    I like your title; it is so "hard to be a normal person." I don't even know how much energy I put into getting through things that are invisable to others. Good job for not taking the shower. I'm not sure I could resist that much of a compulsion right now.

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  2. SamMay 22, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    You are an awfully brave person! I have OCD too, and I am not yet at the point where I could tell myself that no matter what happens I won't give in to a particular compulsion. Somebody gave me a hug today and as soon as I got home I had to jump in the shower! Anyway, good for you for making that effort to beat your OCD. I am trying to do the same thing, and have recently started a blog about OCD too, in the hopes that it will help me and others. If you want to check it out, the address is:
    http://justmeandmyocd-sam.blogspot.com/
    I'd love to hear from you, and good luck!

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  3. AnonymousMay 26, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    Congrats! i know how hard it is to sit with a compulsion and not give in to it. Especially knowing that another one will be coming so it's not a one-time thing
    -karin

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  4. AnonymousMay 26, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    i have a question for you.
    My 5 yr old daughter wants to use used toilet ppr rolls to build a castle. i've tried getting her to change her mind and use juice cans-or something else clean. I don't think i have the desire to just sit with the thot until i'm ok with it (she might be in college by then). Am i going too far with my yuk beliefs?

    Ha Ha, about the lose the weight! i wish there was a spike that MADE me want to exercise so i could lose some weight. then at least ocd would be useful for something!
    -karin

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  5. AnnMay 26, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    Hi Karin,
    A couple of thoughts on those toilet paper rolls. One, in the third grade, LONG before my OCD, my class did a project where we all saved up TP rolls for MONTHS and then made, well I don't remember, but something big. No one thought anything of it and no harm came to us.

    Now, despite this post: http://beatocd.blogspot.com/2009/07/ocd-doesnt-mean-super-clean.html I do save them to start seeds in, and they work great. It makes me nervous to touch them sometimes, sure, but it always passes. Try it! You can post a castle picture on a blog!

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