Today I came to the disheartening realization that some (although not all) of the reason that it feels like I'm doing pretty well, is that I haven't been faced with much that's scary lately. Now part of that is that "scary" has been recalibrated. But still. Today it feels like the scary is piling on, and I'm not doing as well. Now, none of these "scary" things is objectively so bad, but that doesn't matter, right?
One of my coworkers just described her husband's big bad illness, then said, oh, and I'm starting to get it, too. Yay, thanks for being here to breathe on us! Then there's snow in the forecast, and my dad's saying things like, it's okay, you can drive me home if it's too bad. Umm, what? Even my mom who grew up in Buffalo can't make it up their street, and I'm going to? Hahahaha.
Anyway, so all that's going on is sick people and possible snow to mess up the schedule. It's nothing big, but I'm ruminating up a storm (no pun intended). I am going to work on turning this into a positive, a way to practice mindfulness.
Also, on my "to do" list for the year was "get sick and mess something up." So perhaps this will be my chance.
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You are stronger than you think!
1 year ago
Yes - I've gone through times like that too - where I feel like "wow - I'm doing fantastic" - but really I just haven't had a lot of opportunity to practice exposing myself to my scary stuff. Sometimes this is yucky because then - when something scary does come up - it hits you on the side of the face - unexpectedly. Seems like you have some great insight and see it coming so you can prepare youself to react "skillfully". Good luck!!
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